Things have been bloody hectic lately, and Gorger's Metal has been given a lower priority.
Unfortunately, that'll continue. The best alternative to stress is to avoid it.
Thus, I'm about to plug out and go on holiday. Time will tell whether I'll get around to publish anything more this year.
Until then, enjoy some days without excessive activities, along with fellow folks, good food and ditto beverages, you too!
A settlement with November 2017
Shared first place goes to Almyrkvi, Desolate Shrine and Aosoth.
The rest reside right underneath, as joint winners.
My site, my rules.
No, I haven't decided to capitulate and end the realm of Gorger as you know it.
On the contrary, I seek to expand. Or to be honest, I've been lured into the modern age, just as it's turned antiquated.
I'm not a big fan of social media, but I cave in, I roll over and play dead. I succumb and enrol with the herd of sheep.
Click on the picture, take a look, like, follow, spread the word or do what ever the hell you want!
Recap - October 2017
Despite relatively few albums processed in October, I've been able to find a few favourites.
Fewer albums to pick from, have also helped to make the task of weed out favourites a bit easier.
The number of visitors has fallen in recent months. This doesn't bother me personally.
Of course, I don't use the majority of my spare time analysing music, as well as attempting
to come up with new angles and formulations, solely in search for recognition and readership.
For those who sponsor Gorger's Metal with promos, on the other hand, it's of course an advantage with as many readers as possible.
I've had other tasks, and different stuff to think about, however. Thus I take the full responsibility for the decline in visitor numbers.
And I do so with a stoical, careless peace of mind.
New month - new opportunities to squander away.
Life has been unusually hectic in recent times, and releases are piling up. Fortunately, it didn't take a whole lot
of time to decide which September releases deserved most honours, or in which order. Let's jump in feet first.
And so, August is a goner. You're one month older, one month wiser and one month closer to the grave.
The albums that have left the deepest traces this time, are (as always) of rather different sorts.
Take Shade Empire and Cult Of The Horns as examples. Not comparable.
Thus, one is hardly better than the other, for those with a taste that covers both categories.
The current frame of mind will often be decisive for what album you'd prefer at any given time.
22 Reviews (Temple of Demigod counts as two)
17 Impressions (Ossuary Insane counts as two)
After just five months, the link page is finally updated with all the latest additions of bands and labels
that have contributed to keeping the wheels turning. I've had plans of cleaning up the link page and
separate it into more appropriate sections for at least a year, and after a shitload of work behind the
sceneries (especially on the fucking alphabetical menu on the label side), the shit is finally completed.
Not that you give a fuck, but have a look, if not for anything but the visual aspect.
July is a lazy month. The most idle month for this website. Lots of time is spent with family and friends, and as much
time as possible is spent in the sun. Or the rain. And then we can sit inside, listening to metal the remaining 11 months.
One of my favourite albums from the month that blew away in a hurry is actually a re-release of an almost 20 year old gem. Kark is something of a treat, but I omit Perished from the list for obvious reasons.
And so, these favourites heard in July remains.
The order is as much based on a spontaneous retrospective gut feeling, as on the original ratings.
Once again, I'm spoilt for choice. And the candidates of the month are hardly fucking comparable.
As I wrote a month ago: “These albums are all strong in their own way, and although most
of them differ significantly from each other, only nuances are distinguishing their qualities.”
As with several previous cases, the initial ratings doesn't match the order.
Grading art of such a differing kind ain't simple in the first place, and the result depends on many factors.
To rank or at least compare this different art in retrospect would take hours
if one was really determined on vouching one hundred percent for the result.
Therefore, as always, take the order of this list with a few tablespoons of salt.
I'd prefer to add the releases mentioned underneath the list too, but as mentioned earlier I try to restrain myself.
With eight strong candidates on the list, I'm spoilt for choice. Especially since I'd like to limit myself to five.
These albums are all strong in their own way, and although most of them differ significantly from each other,
there's only nuances distinguishing their qualities. Thus I'm not able to weed out any of them.
(whereof Streams of Blood & Nocte Obducta counts as two each)
Favourites of April 2017
There's been a lacklustre activity here over the course of the past two weeks.
Nice weather and a lot of other activities and duties have acted as an effective brake pad.
Oh well. A number of nifty albums still made a lasting impression in April as well.
It must nevertheless be allowed to give a honourable mentioning to Scuorn, Saille, Katharos and Illimitable Dolor as well.
A few vehement EPs was also presented. In particular from Ars Magna Umbrae, Aversio Humanitatis and Whoredom Rife.
Of course, Mayhem's last DVD also left a lasting impression once I finally got around to enjoying it.
Absence of activity does not mean absentmindedness or lethargy.
It's been quiet around here lately, but don't think for a second that you'll get rid of me that easily.
A hostile force has taken control of my cranium, engaging in temporary nuclear testing and demolition derbies.
Under these circumstances I'm not able to get a whole lot done.
I hope for a speedy recovery and increased keyboard-warrior activity.
Favourites January 2017
After hopefully having learned my lesson after a list of another hellish world, I focus on keeping
the list of the very best as short as possible. Even five albums a month would mean 60 a year.
There's still exactly five releases I think deserves attention in particular. Without further ado...
As you probably know by now, I've helped present three songs from Slagmaur's upcoming album today.
(If you were early, you also had the futile experience of observing a little technical glitch that
I had no opportunity to correct immediately, as I do have a life away from the keyboard as well.)
This is something I haven't done before, but when I first received a request, and I've admired
Slagmaur's complex psycho-metal for ten years, I had to take advantage of the opportunity, of course.
This is still not something I intend to start doing. This is a page dedicated to metal reviews.
After all, there's a plethora of news sites out there, and in addition, I'm just a one man army.
Exceptions to the rule may still occur. To hell with laws, guidelines and routine!
Rest in Limbo, 2016.
Welcome to a brief summary of last year.
We start off with the dry stuff. Let's get this party started with some statistics.
During the year, 400 Impressions were presenter.
Exactly 400, actually. The other numbers ain't as impressive.
As I've previously mentioned, Impressions gradually took on a role
akin to Reviews, a trend I've finally managed to reverse.
Therefore, only 52 Reviews saw the sterile light of the lcd monitor.
In addition, 30 necrologies were presented, whereof ⅔ in January alone.
Technically, these sort under Impressions, thereby increasing the division to 430 pieces.
All in all, 482 releases were presented, 13 less than the year before. Can I hope to surpass 500 in 2017?
Whereas published posts have declined a notch, the visitor numbers have been climbing.
From 3,035 guests in 2014, via 5,756 visitors in 2015 to 10,736 uninvited freeloading parasites in 2016.
Not unexpectedly, July was the month with the lowest rate, with 583 curious souls, a figure which is still
better than all monthly data before October 2015. The reason why I'm not surprised, is that only 13 publications
were presented during the summer-month.
My most productive month was January, with coverage of 58 releases,
while you peaked in November, with 1,201 unique visitors. Thank you for being a piece in my devious plan for absolute world domination.
Be it good or bad, you are reduced to a number in the big statistics.
~Gorger's favourites from 2016~
I spent hell of a lot of time nominating, eliminating and ranking albums for a top-list that eventually contained 90 releases.
The ranking, or lack thereof, became rather half-assed, but I split it up by sorting them roughly into three categories.
These were published on
No Clean Singing who was kind enough to invite me to their traditional Listmania.
Our home planet seems to take another lap around the sun, which means that we get another year of opulent tidal waves of
metal releases to revel in. In this connection, some minor adjustments has finally come together in my own little universe: Impressions are now primarily reserved for EPs, splits and the likes, and perhaps an occasional album I'd like
to present but simply don't have the time to analyse to its rotten core. Reviews are from now on used for all proper album-reviews, still with a grading scale ranging from 1 to 6.
In the dawn of time, not much more than three years ago, Impressions was used as the word suggests, while
Reviews consisted of reviews after extensive and prolonged listening only. When increasing numbers of labels
and bands showed their goodwill, Impressions gradually became something of a hybrid. I didn't have the time to
listen to everything ten times, and I didn't have the conscience to cast any form of judgement without at least
five spins. The minimum requirement of ten playthroughs for review is hereby somewhat lowered, but otherwise, I'm
practically returning to the old norm.
Under Impressions I otherwise reduce the alternatives of rating to the following:
Impressions have had monthly transitions, while Reviews have had a cycle of two months.
Both these tabs are now coming in weekly sequences. Fewer presented releases per page makes for lower data rate
and faster response, which means that I can once again implement streaming without overloading your poor browser.
A summary of the past year is being developed in parallel to my normal activity.
It's a fucking laborious job that's already been going on since before New Year.
Expect a presentation of old news within a week.
A short sign of life, and a quick recap of December
Nearly two weeks ago, the final preparations for the gluttony-feast came as Santa Claus on Christmas Eve. Geddit?
Since than, I've been been busy gorging myself like a true Gorger. I'm currently working on a html template for days to come,
and a summary of 2016. Reality's got some foul cards up its sleeve over the coming days,
but I promise to be back on the air with my razor-sharpened pencil hooked up to the modem as soon as possible.
Favourites from the otherwise brief December month is easy to enumerate, and the sequence is arbitrary:
Marianas Rest - Horror Vacui,
Crest of Darkness - Welcome The Dead,
Crimson Moon - Oneironaut &
Cultes des Ghoules - Coven, or Evil Ways Instead of Love
All of 'em gathered here.
Of EPs, these made their mark:
Venefixion - Armorican Deathrites,
Sepulchral Curse - At the Onset of Extinction &
In Aeternum - The Blasphemy Returns
You'll find these here.
Where yesteryears are brought to life
As promised back in August, (see
“Translations of Yore”,) I've completed those final 2015-translations.
Now to start translating everything from 2014. Nah, just kidding.
There'll be no more reanimations of a bygone past on my part.
With the Impressions from April 2015 out of the way, it's practically time to round of 2016, and start 2017 with a clean slate.
Except from the ever-haunting guilty conscience due to all the shit I've still got left undone from both 2015 and 2016.
Summary - November
Another month of your miserable life is laid waste. Congratulations on that. And more congratulations are to come.
But first... The best albums of November in approximate order, as normal.
We end with some nice news.
You readers broke the records for visitor numbers in November.
The previous record read 1162 individual visitors, and was set in May. The new record reads 1201 unique guests. I have not achieved beyond normal. Hence, all the honour for this belongs to you readers and listeners.
Congratulations, thank you for your visit and welcome back any time. I'll just brew a few cups of coffee in the meantime.
(Numbers according to StatCounter.)
EDIT 23.12.16: I made the mistake of calling this news update “Summary - December”.
That would have been “seizing the moment” a bit prematurely.
Black Friday follows a Black Week
Nothing ever goes according to plans. Unforeseen shit always pops up.
I was motivated for an effective all-out effort earlier this week. That didn't happen.
Yesterday's plan was to introduce a little Black Metal Friday with an impulsive choice of black goodies on the fly.
Live from Studio Gorger, so to speak. Faith turned its back to this as well.
Due to untimely circumstances beyond my control, hours slowly dripped down the drain.
The only predictability in life is Murphy's Law, which states that anything that can fuck up will do just that.
After this, I was tired and exhausted, and I ended up presenting just one EP, night to Saturday.
My millions* of English-speaking followers would have to wait all the time till dawn before seeing a translation.
Another irritating element that has bothered me increasingly recently,
seems to be due to the gradual implementation of a new HTML standard (for web page coding).
This causes elements to sometimes not appear correctly in my elder pages.
Older pages in this context includes any other individual pages than this,
as well as the latest Impressions and Reviews.
Barbed wire disappear and certain Norwegian characters are replaced by silly symbols.
(As if you didn't consider Æ, Ø and Å as ridiculous enough all ready.)
The solution essentially consists of an easy fix, but to correct and convert so-called character
sets in umpteen individual files is gonna take its time, and hell knows when I'll even get started.
Have a coal-black weekend with blood red nuances. Pitch dark greeting from Gorger.
*Figures in this article may deviate somewhat from reality, or even be purely fictional.
Favourites - October
With about two-thirds of November done for, it's about damn time to take a quick look at my October favourites.
October posed a number of serious slaying pieces, and to rank these delightful albums, as usual, ain't easy.
The quality is consistently high all across the board, and there's no getting around these 12 when the month is to be summarized:
Among other releases, only the split between Ur Draugr & Haar left a deep impact,
but acts like Burial Hordes, Zealot Cult, WatchTower, Zornheym, Tortorum and Martröð
also delivered respectable EPs and singles that left a good impression.
In addition, they must surely be allowed to mention that last year's debut by
reviewed in the Necrology, as expected was one of several highlight in a very strong month.
Is September a month of an unusual high number of releases, or does it just feel that way?
I still have about 35 unmentioned promos from the preceding month, but I'm not surprised.
It was around the same time of the year that things derailed and went strait to hell last year too.
Will I catch up within New Year, or will I have to do another round of those never-realized
Fuck knows. But I have a suspicion the pile will continue to grow.
Paranoid as I am, I don't trust storage in the clouds. My eminent list of contact was suddenly,
and for no rational reason, set one month back in time on one of those darned services earlier this summer.
Just to top it off, it also turns out that I wasn't even close to paranoid enough.
My faithful treacherous USB stick went and died on me last month,
and took many a note with it to the grave in the process.
Luckily most of it, and the most important stuff was quite recently backed up.
Enough with my first world problems. Let's take a look at the nine albums that meant the most to me in September:
A number of EPs, splits and singles were also released. Ranking these in roughly the correct order, ain't exactly easy.
Especially when the quality varies even within each individual release. Songs on splits in particular tends to diverge a bit.
I'm still going with this approximate ranking, and choose to highlight nine pieces here as well.
After a dozy July month, August was spent gently accelerating.
The month was not exactly marked with huge quantities, and I didn't felt that the music excelled in quality,
but some of what I heard was definitely good, and some stuff was very good.
Let's concentrate on the latter. My list of absolute favourites of the month wouldn't do without these lovely
works of dark art:
After realizing I wasn't even close to reaching my initial goal of translating all 2015 writings by the end of last year,
I sort of stopped giving a fuck about when to complete it all.
Today, I've finished translating the March-section of Impressions.
Now, all that remains are 10 Impressions from April 2015.
I promise to complete these by the end of 2018, cause that's a promise I can keep. Okay, than, by the end of this year.
Favourites - July
July didn't become an exhaustive month on this site.
I took things easy, chilled, relaxed and enjoyed lazy days with family and friends.
Mowing the lawn constituted the biggest efforts, and hangover the worst burdens.
I did present a few releases, and of those the following sticks out as favourites:
Only a single EP was presented. It was in return bloody killer: Cloak - Cloak
Favourites - June
The agony of choice. A few albums from yesteryears has once again snuck into my list of favourite albums.
Even the top spot of what has become a traditional top 10 list this time, is occupied by a record of the past.
As previously mentioned, these will be weeded out when the year end list is under construction. A task I already dread.
PS: I discovered half a month later that non of these links were working. They should work by now.
So, you thought I was dead now?
Well, the thing is that I over the recent days have prioritized family and outdoor tasks that needs to be addressed.
I had hoped to catch up somewhat with music writings as well. I have shitloads to do even there.
The capricious fate however wanted it different.
The family deserves some priority in vacation time, and all necessary pending work must naturally also be prioritized.
I have of course listened to music and made a few thoughts on assorted albums, albeit not as many as I had wished.
I've only had the time to write a drafts for one Impression.
I reckon I'll publish something tomorrow. Tonight, I shall drink beer and raise Hell.
I aim to not let this many days get between us again before a new post emerges.
Favourites - May
As stated in the previous news article, I have avoided embedded audio streams this month.
A preliminary calculation, where I have taken the number of Impressions thus far into account,
shows about 20% savings on loading-time.
It's not much, but I hope you have the patience of a lurking predator, stalking his prey, and stop by once in a while.
Following are the releases I was most captivated by in May.
Please be patient while the page loads... forever!
Opening Impressions - May
demands as much patience as listening through a triple-CD of funeral drone whilst watching grass grow.
From new-year I'm planing some changes that should improve the situation. Until then, beginning this June, I've decided
to forward you to the original location of teasers, sneak peaks and streams. Round-trip ticket for your additional
interweb fares will have to be paid up front, but you can get a refund for your expenses after agreement with your local
Social security administration if your application is present in triplicate at least four months prior to departure.
The Reviews tab will contain streams like before, as it doesn't have enough content to take its toll on your broadband.
I hope this will make loading the pages faster from here on, cause I don't want to compromise on all the wonderful cover art.
Favourites - April
One of the albums in the lead this time around, from British The Infernal Sea, won't proceed to the final round,
as the album was released last year.
Italian The Foreshadowing is unfortunately not found a place worthy on the list, but it should be noted that the
closing song Nimrod from Seven Heads Ten Horns is probably the strongest stand alone song released so far this year.
Here are the nine albums that have excelled most among the 40 releases I processed in April, followed by four others who
is also worth mentioning. Than followed by four smaller releases and some statistics.
It's enormously difficult to rank albums, especially when setting albums from completely different genres up against each
other. Having omitted re-releases from Mörk Gryning and Darvulia as well as Ereb Altor's tribute
to Bathory, however, the top ten list looks something like this, with four strong competitors underneath.
February was by the way an outrageously ripping month and as many as four releases in the top echelon, and one amongst the
others, was released in the shortest month of the year. Another February release will even appear on the April list.
In some periods there's so many album releases that I have to turn down the majority of them. When I apparently have a
positive attitude to almost every presented albums, it's with my credibility at stake. But the reality is that many a
release and lots of debris has been filtered out at an early stage. After all, I'd rather listen to stuff I actually
enjoy, however strange that may sound.
Ergo, February saw lots of approvals, but right here I'm looking to highlight those that has been most rewarding and
enjoyable to listen to. The musical level has been both high and steady. I've picked out nine favourites, and another
eight who deserve recognition, in addition to a separate list of EPs. As always, the order might be taken with a grain
of salt, though I think it reflects my views on these releases tolerable good.
For practical reasons, I restrict myself to albums discussed in February. February-releases featured in March will be
be published on the March-list.
Ain't that a bit fucking early? - you ask.
It's about bloody time! - I reply.
Nobody said shit about which year, right?
Have a look.
Favourites - January
20.02.16 + EDIT 25.02.16
If I'm going to be able to make some kind of year end list for 2016, I might as well commence preparations by making
successive records of the highlights throughout the year. I therefore launch this monthly column.
I was going to implement a rock hard criterion that they had to be released in the specified month, but than again,
in the underground albums are often treated to as much as 3-4 different release dates in various formats. Besides,
some albums are destined to be covered in the “wrong” month occasionally. So I allow Serpents Lair, Gorrch
og Khthoniik Cerviiks the right to participate in this round, even if they were originally released in
2015. On the year end list, however, they will unfortunately have to be omitted.
To rate music with grades, or to rank albums in a specific order, can be hell sometimes, but I choose to
highlight these 8, in a roughly order after both getting some distance and more digestion.
No matter what, they all provide one hell of a ride!
EDIT 25.02.16: I might as well add some monthly stats to this section as well.
A can of worms in the web
04.02.16 - 07.02.16
I currently have huge problems with my home network.
The only available provider in rural areas,
ain't widely known for their rapid service.
I looks like a very quiet weekend is at hand.
I can only apologize.
EDIT 07.02.16: After barely a week in solitary confinement,
I can once again defile the world from home :)
Imhotep nr. 10 - Watain spesial
In may 2014, on my own initiative, but with approval, I had the pleasure of offering Imhotep fanzin #10
for free download.
A few months ago, #11 was released, and for some reason my slow mind didn't realize until today
that I've completely failed to share the gem that is number 10 with all you fucking foreigners.
#10 is a Watain special issue, carrying the apt title “W A T e r s o f A I N”.
It's in English, and was available for reading on-line as a virtual e-zine. Long story short:
I hate reading huge publications on a screen. It had no copyright, but no download button either, so I used
my devious skills to pull of a heist, snatching one page at the time, before finally compiling them to a huge pdf-file.
The issue contained a few pages borrowed from the legendary Slayer Magazine.
These were later removed, but you will find them included in this version.
Download the 56 pages fanzine (167 MB) by clicking the image, or this link.
Again, thanks a lot to Roy and others in the Imhotep crew, and Metalion of Slayer Magazine fame,
for generously allowing me to distribute this intellectual property. Also, feel free to tip of your Watain-admiring buddies.
If I have 200 candidates for the list of last year's “greatest moment”, and I had uses just 5 quick minutes to remember
approximately how these sound, I would nevertheless have spent 1000 minutes, which is equivalent to 16 hours and 40 minutes.
The only result would have been perhaps a reduction of 50 eliminated albums.
I would seriously have spent days, first to shorten the list into something presentable, and then to create a page to do so.
In other words, forget it. The damn list is not that important!
Off the top of my head we can probably say that Acherontas, Alkaloid, Akhlys, Enslaved, Mgla, Mephorash and Outre
are among the many who have planted strong and enduring seeds in my lush and fertile mind in 2015.
As a consolation prize, I bring you the very
Best of 2014. I'm pretty pleased with that list.
All the music is magical, and it's also a collage of rather iconic cover art.
I still can't fucking bear to go through that process again, while simultaneous writing about new stuff.
I've translated the text, and changed every single link, so be grateful, maggots.
~ 2015 - a cavalcade ~
Around the new year transition it's common to summarize a bit. I only managed to finish half this post on new years eve,
(and in CET we have now entered January 2nd, but hey, it's still January 1st in Britain and America). I guess it's still
not too late to wish you a heavy metallic new year. If you couldn't give a fuck about history and statistics this will
probably bore you to death.
During the year I have presented 495 releases. Hopefully a good deal has appealed to you. 16 of these stemmed from 2014,
leaving 479 fairly fresh releases. I have a few releases from 2015, four to be exact, which will be presented in normal
manners during January. If all plans don't fail miserably. As they tend to do. I have indeed 68 other promos of the expired
year, and a list of 55 other publications I would like to hear and present. These will, to the best of ability, be briefly
presented in a separate section.
436 Impressions were presented, of which 423 were released in 2015. 59 somewhat more in depth Reviews,
56 published the same year. After a few seconds of mental arithmetic, I conclude that this should make about 1.356164383561644
records per day on average. Maybe not a particularly impressive figure, but for a one-man enterprises conducted by an
erratic weirdo with family and full-time job, I reckon it's not so bad. Taking periods with little activity in to the
calculation, will probably increase the total to about 1.5 records on the days that there's been activity here.
(I'd love sum up just how many of the year's 365 days that have seen activity, but hell if I care to count that right now).
36 Impressions and nearly 41 releases all in all, is the average per month.
The site's been through some minor and major changes in the past year. Small menus of content, directly under the header
on each page from April, new symbols for ranking Impressions from July, and the biggest change; global adaptation with
English translations from June, and then retroactive translations for the entire year. (With 50 Impressions and
13 Reviews still lacking).
I won't deny that the latter is a time consuming affair. Something that has been affected longer Reviews hardest.
Nevertheless... The Impressions has taken over much of the characteristics and objective, and moved far closer
to Reviews in style than the original quick and short form.
This year's most fruitless month was the summer vacation month July, with only 26 Impressions and just one
Review. In February, as much as 11 albums were favoured with Reviews, while November saw entirely 48
Impressions. These months initially share the first place, with 50 entries each, but considering that February
had two days less than November, and that the large amount of Reviews is far more comprehensive, February ends
up victorious with its nearly 1.8 daily presentations.
EDIT: I almost forgot this part of statistics; visitor numbers.
2014 saw 3035 unique visitors, whilst the numbers climbed to 5756 visitors in 2015. That's almost 16 a day. The numbers
have increased a lot during the year. January-April had an average of about 300 readers. May to August had a steady number
of about 430 visitors a month, while the last third of the year has almost sky-rocketed. From Septembers 567 to Novembers
amazing 810 metal hungry souls. That's 27 each day. What ever happened on the Saturday of December 19th, only the horned
one knows, but 99 vile maniacs visited that day.
Surely, non of this is impressive compared to long living and professional sites with many co-workers, but again, for a
one-man site, with not much more than two years of existence, and only just over half a year with English writings, I
don't think that's half bad. Thanks to every visitor! If I manage to keep the pace and a minimum of quality through 2016,
I'm quite convinced we'll set a new record this year. Now, who's with me? (A pep talk for reading a fucking site? Now,
there's something you don't see every day.)
May all who are still awake after this monologue and monotone lesson have a killer new year!
PS: Everything on Gorger's Metal is done manually in plain text format. No HTML editor or other fancy shait is used.
True Old School only! when I soon shall merge new pages into the site, while also ensuring that all links lead to the
right place (about 20 html files require editing, and in addition there are other files), my messy brain will most
likely overheat. Should you come across dead links, don't hesitate to let me know.
Today is winter solstice, also known as Yule before the religious occupation.
Yuletide was all about drinking all the home brewed beer.
Now, most of us buys it, but other than that, it's pretty much the same thing.
Some of us have families to consider and preparations to take care of.
I think I owe them that much for putting up with my ceaseless passion for metal.
Besides, I could need a fucking break now.
Ergo, I say “so long, suckers.” See you on the other side of the solemn charades.
PS: I just finished the last translations for the February edition of Impressions.
Now, there's just 50 Impressions from March and April, plus 13 Reviews from the same period remaining.
(Will it never fucking end?)
This just in...
If you follow the Recent retrospective translations part on the index-page with excitement and breathtaking
expectation, this should come as no bombshell.
If you're a casual er otherwise apathetic reader, you might not give a fornicated fuck.
Still, I interrupt your daily web routine to tell you that I'm done with the
January to February section of Reviews. At last.
Now, all that remains is the March to April edition, and about 2⅓ months of Impressions.
I once set new year as a
sort of deadline for myself. Screw that!
A “rationalizational” fish story for lack of spiritual guidance
Have you missed Guru Gorger's spiritual guidelines in recent times? The activity has been lacklustre for various reasons.
I don't intend to go into details, for this is no “feminine blog”.
Some may perceive Gorger's Metal as a blog, considering all personal reflections and random digressions
(metal is passion - all metal related taste and opinions are individual - thus metal is personal),
but unlike other “bloggers” I insist on keeping the website and my private sphere separated.
Therefore I exhibit strict reluctance toward pouring out information about my life indiscriminately. Where I was yesterday
and who I insulted there is none of your business. Thus, I am also hesitant to disclose the reason for low activity during
the last week, but I choose to do so as this deviates from the normal routine.
The reason for my absence is because I was held hostage over the weekend by a mad Mayan Indian, re-incarnated as accountant
Ulf Tvinge, son av Trygve Knappen, a social security piggybacker in tricot from Trysil. (He took his wife's surname). Okay then, I just had a persistent colds with appurtenant fever.
I have also been busy with other hectic none-of-your-fucking-business, but now I hope to get back to normal activity again.
Translatory Sickness Infects Humanity
I just want to thank Jon Skjeseth from Permafrost doing a couple of translations for me.
He was grateful due to me reviewing Cattle Decapitation and Venom for his current and former webzine. I'm actually equally thankful for gaining the opportunity
to review these albums.
Also, thanx to Sepultura for unknowingly lending me a short line from Dead Embryonic Cells to use in the heading.
Nuances in ⁺⁄₋
I gave more than 20 releases thumbs up in September. Does this mean that they were all equally good? Of course not.
To separate the nuances slightly I have resorted to the further development of the symbols as of today.
Plus, minus and thumbs which clearly indicates “Which way the wind blows.”
You get the picture.
PS: If the Impressions tab still takes you to September, use this link to skip to October.
• Can you read (and understand) Norwegian properly?
• Are you skilful in English, and conversant with metallic terminology?
• Are you restless and feel like doing something constructive to keep you busy?
If the answer is yes, yes, yes and yes again, you might consider becoming a translator for Gorger's Metal.
Translating new Impressions and Reviews takes its time, and I have a bunch of posts from January until now
that should have been translated as well. If anyone is interested in some extra pastime, send an email to
firstname.lastname@example.org or use the
Salary: ingratitude. (Or fame, whenever world domination is mine, muha-ha-ha-ha...)
New ways of ranking Impressions
Words are hardly required. V and X are history.
Less colour, more death and decay...
Translations in hindsight
As I don't do news about anything apart from my very own site (how gloriously wrapped up with eyeing my own navel),
there's rarely anything new, and even more scarcely anything exciting to be found here.
I've just placed the last bit of the puzzle in the January section of Impressions, and I figured I might as well make
a list here of what is finished and not. Thus, here is status quo:
• January: Completed 25.06.15.
• February: Work not even commenced.
• March: Endeavour not initiated.
• April: About ⅔ executed.
• Alle Impression afterwards is done or up-to-date.
• January-February: This just in - a startling attack has just been launched...
• March-April: Emptiness. Just wast, desolated nothingness. A barren void of nullity.
• Reviews from May and beyond are up-to-date.
Second step towards total world domination.
My first attempt on complete metallic dictatorship was in Norwegian. This site has been alive and active for
one and a half years in my native tongue now. In order to really spread the word on supreme metal releases,
adding an English section to this page has been a long time desire. A haunting thought in the back of my mind,
never granting me peace of mind.
Who am I?
That's not really important. I'm just another metal-head who's been listening to metal since the late 80's / early
90's. A more important issue is my taste, as it will determine if this site has anything to offer you. You can read
more about this and further trivialities in the About section.
So, what's all this then?
This page consists of reviews. No news, no concert reports, no interviews. Just reviews. (At least for now).
The site's got four tabs, whereas the main part, the reviews, are divided in two parts.
The tab named Reviews is just what it sounds like. I like to hear an album about ten times to make sure
it gets time to grow and settle in. The rating goes from lousy 1 to mighty 6
points on my hard-as-a-rock dice.
The tab named Impressions on the other side deserves an explanation. In order to present more than a few
albums a week (and in order to listen to as many releases as possible) I created this section where I judge an
album after mere 3-5 spins. Put somewhat extremely, I “shoot from the hip” and judge releases “hasty and with vague
acquaintance”. However, even if I don't gain absolute knowledge of each album through vivid experience, listening
concentrated through four or so repetitions will unveil much of the musics inherent qualities. Most importantly, it
does reveal wetter or not the music is worth my (and perhaps your) time. More so than buying an album based on it's
cover or hearing a few tracks on-line. Impressions is by nature a tad more “informal” and “impulsive” than
the Reviews. Don't expect pin point accuracy, but rather read it with a pinch of salt and a grain of scepticism.
The rating consists of Approved (V), Fairly Good/Okay/Middling (vx) & Disapproved (X)
For reason explained below I try to remain a little bit strict and picky.
One of the biggest challenges for metal heads is that you never have the time (or money) to listen to every release.
(There was 520 full-length albums per month in 2014, that's 17 each day, and then there's EPs, Singles, Splits and so forth).
There is no absolute solution to pick out the crème de la crème, the top few percents that one will really
enjoy coming back to again and again. Especially considering we all have different tastes. (Some would call my preferences
to fierce, ferocious or even noisy, yet others would go turn the opposite way. Just to mention
that one aspect).
Gorger's Metal offers no solution, of course. I miss out on inconceivable amounts of quality metal my self, and I prioritize
the albums I receive promos on before other grains of gold. I hope, however, to be a tiny part of the solution, at
least when it comes to giving solid music some well deserved attention.
All that remains is to wish you Welcome aboard this night train! Destination? Hell, itself...
Two items concerning practical information:
• All dates prior to 05.06.15 is the date of the first publication (in Norwegian).
Also, I use the date format dd.mm.yy exclusively
• There are many links to keep track of. If you find any links that
doesn't lead to the appropriate place of damnation, feel free to harass me.
• If things look crappy, it might be because you are using a crappy browser or a smartphone, or because I'm a crappy web master.